


To Run With Winter

by RDJ_luvet



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Amputee Tony Stark, Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Kid Tony Stark, M/M, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Steve Rogers is an awesome dad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-23
Updated: 2016-05-30
Packaged: 2018-06-10 06:28:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6943546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RDJ_luvet/pseuds/RDJ_luvet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve was frozen, but for only 5 years until Howard found him...</p><p>Steve becomes Tony's second father and watches him grow up, but has to live everyday seeing the name of his dead best friend on the body of his son. </p><p>(In other words, this is a Soulmate AU where your Soulmates name is on your body somewhere, Steve and Howard are Soulmates, and so are Tony and Bucky. And also, Tony lost his leg.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. And It Grows

**Author's Note:**

> Also, let's say that the war and tale of Captain America happened much, much later so that the events of Winter Soldier still line up with the story, don't worry, it will make sense

Steve slowly floats to consciousness to the sound of Howard's voice to his left, he was talking to himself the way he always did when he was working on a new project.

Steve cautiously blinks opens his eyes and takes in his surroundings. 

The lights in the room are dimmed enough to be comfortable but still bright enough for Howard to work, the man himself was sitting in the cozy looking chair next to him, jotting down little notes and reading off of some type of screen without a keyboard. 

Steve was curious as to what the machine was, but also knew that Stark Tech was much more sophisticated than anything else. 

Steve feels a crushing need all of a sudden to touch his mate, it feels as though he hasn't been able to in years. Steve reaches out his hand and lays it on Howard's arm, Howard's jumps, surprised, and looks at Steve, Steve is surprised to see tears in his lovers eyes and pulls on his arm to bring him closer. 

It takes a second but Howard eventually gets with the program and puts down his things on a little table. 

Howard's comes to sit on his bed "I missed you" he says simply before gently lying more or less on top of Steve. Steve is perfectly fine with this and wraps his arms around Howard's frame, he thinks that Howard may have gotten bulkier but maybe he's just crazy.

}{}{}{}{}{}{

When Howard finally tells Steve the truth, that Steve was frozen in ice for five years, Steve almost cries, thinking about how he left his Soulmate thinking that he was dead, "I never thought you were dead" Howard told him and held out his forearm where Steve knew his name was, Steve looked and sure enough a blue 'Steve Grant Rogers' stared up at him, he looked at it confused for a few seconds before it clicked in, his name was still blue, just like Howard's name was still blue on Steve's ankle. 

When one half of a soulmate dies, both names turn grey. 

}{}{}{}{}{}{

When Steve finds out that Howard got married and had a child, Steve does cry. Howard holds him and apologizes over and over and over, he quickly explains that he and this woman were both lonely, that her mate had died and they both just needed a warm body to hold, they knew full well it wouldn't last, it wasn't real love, they weren't paired together in the stars. 

But, they still got married, just to make it official, a couple years later, Howard couldn't stand it any longer and asked for a divorce, a couple months later, she informed him she was pregnant, and that the baby was his. 

And now, Howard has a 3 month old son that he only gets to see every other week. 

Steve takes a minute alone in the bathroom to embrace everything that had just been told to him, he didn't mind that Howard found someone else, no, that was a lie, he did mind, but he understood. 

He exits the bathroom and Howard immediately sits up from where he was hunched over with his head in his hands. Steve makes him meet his eyes "can I meet him?" He asks. 

}{}{}{}{}{}{

Howard took him back to his home in Malibu and the two got to know each others bodies very well once again, Steve loved to trace out new scars on Howard's body that weren't there before. 

Howard wouldn't get to see his son until a couple more days, so Steve took all the time in the world dragging his tongue across Howard's body. 

}{}{}{}{}{}{

Finally the day came when Steve would get to see his mate's child for the first time. Howard had told Maria about Steve waking up, she sounded happy for the both of them, Steve took that as a good sign, he was nervous that she wouldn't like him or would feel jealous of him. 

Steve was pacing back and forth in the living room, he had been waiting for about an hour now and had been jittery all day. 

Howard came into the room and wrapped his arms around Steve from behind to stop his movements. "It's fine, they're gonna love you" he whispers into Steve's ear. Steve turns around in his arms and bends slightly to tuck his face into Howard's shoulder, happy for the distraction that Howard brings. 

They were broken apart by the sound of a door opening and closing and the sound of heels clicking down the hallway. "Howard?" Steve hears a female voice call from around the corner. 

They have just enough time to step out of each other's arms when Steve comes face to face with a beautiful blonde woman. 

The woman is carrying a baby carrier but Steve can't see the occupant due to a cozy looking bright red blanket. 

"Maria, Steve, Steve, Maria" Howard introduces them. 

In a few short minutes, Steve has a bundle of red blankets and a tiny human with thick brown hair cradled in his arms, when a tiny hand reaches out to take a hold on Steve's finger and eyes blink open to reveal bright and happy big brown eyes, Steve knows then that he's completely gone for this kid.

}{}{}{}{}{}{

 

Tony had been staying with them for the past three days after Maria had dropped him off.

Steve woke up to the sound of a baby crying, at first he was confused but soon remembered where he was. He stretched his arm out and frowned when all he met was cold sheets, if Howard had got up to get the baby settled then Tony wouldn't still be crying. 

With a grumble Steve got up and seen that it was 3:45 in the morning. Steve decided that Howard was probably still in the workshop working so made a plan that after he got Tony back to sleep he would go and get Howard to bed as well. 

Steve followed the sound of crying to Tony's nursery, he gently pushed open the door and walked to the crib. He reached in and gently picked up the still crying boy. He carefully settled him against his body while swaying and supporting his head. 

Steve managed to bend his head enough to sniff Tony's bottom, firmly deciding that he needed a diaper change. 

He walked as non-jerkily as he could over to the changing station, Tony had stopped wailing but the tears were still coming and he was making little snuffling sounds into the fabric of Steve's shirt. 

Steve very carefully lowered him onto the cushiony padding of the table and rubbed soothing circles on the boys tummy while he searched for the supplies he would need. He laid it all out and got to work undoing all the buttons on the baby's onzie. He gently worked first the right leg out of the pyjamas and when he got to the left he froze as soon as the thigh was exposed. 

There, in bright blue lettering across the top of Tony's tiny chubby thigh was the name of his dead best friend. 

'James Buchanan Barnes'

Just then Howard bursts through the door, he looks first to Tony's once again crying form and then to Steve's face and then to where Steve is staring. Howard mentally face palms himself, he didn't want to have to have this conversation this early on. 

"Steve" he says but cuts himself off, he doesn't know what to say, instead he goes to finish soothing Tony, Steve gets out of his way but doesn't meet his eyes. Howard quickly finished changing Tony's diaper and puts him in fresh pyjamas. He hugs him to his chest carefully until he falls back to sleep and then he puts him back into his crib. 

When Howard is done he stands in front of Steve, fiddling his hands. "I didn't want you to find out like this" he says simply. Steve takes a breath, holds it, and let's it out. He forces himself to stop thinking about why the name was blue, if Bucky was really dead, the name would be grey. Again, he shakes his head to stop thinking about it. 

He looks at Howard and holds out his hand "c'mon, can we just go to bed? I really don't want to.... There's nothing I can do, so let's just, go to bed" he says and gives a small smile. Howard returns a tentative smile "sure, whatever you need" he says. 

That night Steve dreamt of Blue eyes, a cocky smirk and a gut wrenched scream. When he wakes up just a couple hours later for his morning workout he starts to remember that Bucky had his name in a vertical line on his left shoulder, almost as if it was incasing his arm, and Tony's was the same, like it was incasing the rest of his left leg. He just wished he could remember the name Bucky had, then he would be able to relax a bit more. 

}{}{}{}{}{}{

Just a few short months later Steve and Howard got married, at this point, Tony was spending more and more time at their house instead of with Maria, he was growing more and more, he now took to calling Steve pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa and calling Howard da-da-da-da-da-da. He had thick brown curly hair and bright brown caramel eyes and a smile that could brighten anyone's day. Every time Steve looked at Tony he would get an overwhelming sense of joy, yep, he was completely and totally gone for this kid. 

}{}{}{}{}{}{

Steve got a call from Shield one day, they were asking him to sign on as an agent and go on missions. Steve told them he'd think about. 

He and Howard talked it over, Steve wanted to continue to help people, but now he had a son that he had to look out for and protect. 

They decided that Steve would only go on missions once a month unless it was an emergency.

}{}{}{}{}{}{

Tony was two years old and he was going to be spending a week with his mother in the Bahamas, Steve and Howard both kissed the boy goodbye and then kissed him a couple more times just to hear his adorable little giggles. 

Steve and Howard were asleep in bed when the call that they'd never forget came through, through the blood rushing in his ears Steve could only make out a couple words, 'car accident' 'from the airport' 'died instantly' 'hospital' 'traumatic experience' 'might not wake up'.

Steve focused long enough to get the location of his boy and he and Howard shakily got dressed and took one of Howard's fastest jets to get to their Tony. 

After a few hours of non-peaceful dozing, Steve is being shaken awake by Howard. They quickly walk into the hospital, holding hands mostly to ground each other than anything else. A nurse comes and leads them to a room and the sight in front of them almost sends Steve to his knees. 

His little boy that was so full of life only a day ago, is lying motionless and pale in a bed that seems much bigger than it actually is with such a tiny body on it. There's an IV in his little hand and a bandage on his forehead. There's a whole bunch of machines beeping around him. 

In his other hand there was another IV but this one was pumping blood into his body. His right leg was propped up on pillows and his left was- his left was gone. 

Steve let out a sound and looked confusedly at the doctor, they explained that Tony's car seat was in the rear drivers seat and when the car swerved off the road, Tony's door hit a tree causing his door to cave in and deeply penetrate the child's thigh. They said that they saved as much of the leg as they could but there was too much muscle, bone and nerve damage done. 

After the doctor left Steve and Howard were left in the room, watching the steady rise and fall of Tony's small round belly. 

Eventually Steve squeezed into the bed beside Tony and rubbed circles on his tummy and brushed his curls off of his forehead, occasionally kissing his temple, careful of the bandage. He whispered things into Tony's hair while Howard sat in the chair next to the bed and held Tony's hand. 

A couple hours passed when all of a sudden Tony sat straight up and began to cry and scream in agony while his tiny hands gripped something just below where his thigh stopped. Steve and Howard both sat up, shocked, and tried to pull the little boy away from his leg where he could do more damage. 

Nurses came in and briefly explained about what they were already injecting into the boys IV, as soon as the syringe was empty Tony's body sagged as his eyes drooped closed, Steve brought him back to lie against the pillows again and ran his fingers through dark brown curls as he listened to doctors describe what was called phantom pain, and how excruciating it could be. 

Steve's heart broke for his poor boy that quickly stole his heart the moment he met him. 

An hour later when Tong started to wiggle in his arms, he quickly got a nurse to give him more pain meds to make waking up much more easier this time than it was last time.

When Tony blinks his eyes open, they're already full of tears. He looks down at the blankets that show no indication of a left leg being under it. He sniffles and buries his face in Steve's chest "gone papa, gone". Steve just holds him tighter. 

}{}{}{}{}{}{

A few weeks later Tony was allowed to go home, before they left, the nurse showed them how to change the bandages, when she takes off the current dressing, Steve looks away as he catches hint of Bucky's name but forces himself to look back, the leg cuts off just under the name, there's a lot of cuts that will soon be scars that cut through the name, but all of the letters remain intact, and still a bright shade of blue. 

The next couple weeks are incredibly hard, Tony refuses to sleep in his room alone so every night he curls up in between Steve and Howard and every night he wakes up crying, screaming and clutching a leg that isn't there. He also refuses to try and use crutches or even use Steve's hands, instead he makes them carry him everywhere. Howard says he'll get better once he gets fitted for a prosthetic but the leg isn't healed enough yet. Tony goes to physiotherapy every other day and every time someone asks him about what he remembers from that night, all he can say is 'blue eyes' before he starts to panic and cry. 

Things do get better a few months later when he gets a prosthetic and is able to be a two year old again, most days he still doesn't like to walk, he says it hurts and feels weird, but he manages with his dad's' help. 

}{}{}{}{}{}{

Even though Tony had a limp, most days you wouldn't be able to tell that he went through something that awful, he was still their happy trouble maker, especially now that he was 5. 

Steve liked everything tidy and in its place, and Tony knew this. Steve just finished cleaning the kitchen after making him and Tony sandwiches for lunch, Howard was at StarkIndustries for the day. Tony was sitting at the table watching, when Steve was done he walked over purposefully and moved a flower pot that was centred on the counter over two inches, and then grinned up at Steve and tried to run off. 

Steve grabbed him around the waist easily both because of Tony's limp and his short little legs. Tony giggled manically as Steve tossed him over his shoulder and walked him to the sitting room and threw  
Tony down onto the couch before pinning him down with one hand on his chest and the other tickling his ribs mercilessly. 

Tony tried to kick and push him away as he laughed so hard he had tears in his eyes, Steve bent to blow a raspberry on his belly while still moving his fingers along the boys sides. 

Eventually Steve let up and as soon as he did Tony wriggled away and stood up quickly, too quick, he almost fell back down but Steve placed a hand on his back to steady him. Tony got his footing back and took off down the hall. Steve could easily catch him but gave him a couple seconds before shaking his head and running after his insane 5 year old. 

}{}{}{}{}{}{

Ever since Tony was young he's had trouble sleeping, either from nightmares or because he couldn't get his brain to shut off or because of his phantom pain. 

On nights like these when Tony couldn't sleep, he would lie in bed for a while and stare up at the ceiling, sometimes he would even put his prosthetic on to see if that would help, but eventually he would always go to his dad's room and wake up either Steve or Howard, tonight it was Steve. 

Steve wakes up to big brown eyes staring down at him, he yawns but sits up anyway, careful not to jostle Tony.

As Steve makes his way to the kitchen with Tony, slower than in the day time because Tony's limp was always worse when he was tired. He lifts up his 7 year old and sits him on the counter, something that he would never get away with at a reasonable time of day. 

Steve pulls out all the stuff he would need for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with no crust, Tony loved these sandwiches, when given the choice he'd choose it over anything else. 

Steve gets to work making his sandwich, occasionally reaching over to massage lightly where flesh meets metal on his sons leg, he could tell it was sore because of how swollen and red it was, he tried his best not to let his eyes linger on the name there. 

Once he had a reasonable amount of sandwiches piled on a plate and two milk glasses and everything put away, he lifted Tony back up and set him gently on his foot again, walking him to the tv room. 

Once there Steve leaned back against the arm and spread his legs enough for Tony to squeeze in, he passed the things to Tony to balance on his legs while Steve turned on Cars, it was Tony's favourite movie since he was little. 

After eating and drinking his food Tony settles in against Steve's chest, Steve starts to rub circles on Tony's tummy and soon enough Tony is asleep and snoring lightly, he didn't even make it to the part with Bessie, which was his favourite part. 

Steve shuts off the movie and carefully picks up Tony bridal style. He doesn't even bother bringing him to his own room and instead heads straight to the room he shares with Howard. 

Once there he carefully lowers Tony onto the bed and gently unclasps all the straps and takes off the leg. Once he actually looks at the stump that's swollen and agitated he heads into his own bathroom to get the ice pack and heating pad he keeps there for situations like this. 

He spends the next hour alternating hot and cold onto Tony's stump, and rubbing circles onto his stomach to keep him calm. 

Once he's satisfied with it he puts it all away and moves him to the middle of the bed, crawling in behind him and cradling him to his chest. 

}{}{}{}{}{}{

Steve had just left his art studio to get a snack for himself, he left the door open and when he came back he froze in the door way.

His 8 year old Tony was sitting in Steve's chair staring mesmerized at the drawing of Bucky that he had just finished before he left. 

Steve though about leaving but when he turned around Tony caught the movement and startled up, almost falling but catching himself on the desk. He stumbled away from the desk and squeezed through Steve in the doorway, the whole time apologizing for going through his things. 

Steve stood shocked at the way Tony reacted, it was almost as if Steve caught him looking at porn instead of just a drawing of a face.

Steve found him a little while later after he gave the kid some air to think. He was in his room sitting on his carpeted floor playing with a little robot thing that he had built a few months prior. 

Steve knocked even though the door was open and went in and sat on the bed. He folded his hands and explained that he wasn't upset, quite the opposite, and that he would be glad to show Tony a few more drawings if he wanted. 

Tony nodded and then tried to stand up but had difficulty so Steve went and pulled him up, when Tony stood sturdy enough Steve wrapped his arms around his boy. 

Later on Steve showed Tony all of his other drawings of Bucky and Tony loved each and every one of them. A couple hours later had Steve helping Tony move in a spare desk so that Tony could spend more time in there watching Steve work. 

They were going to be fine, Steve decided. 

}{}{}{}{}{}{

Tony was ten when he came home from his tutors crying, Steve who always waited in the kitchen with a snack for when Tony got home didn't expect to feel something crash into him from behind and bury it's face into the small of Steve's back, sniffling. 

Steve got over his shock quickly enough and turned around, careful not to jostle his boy too much, he carefully took in Tony's face that was now buried in Steve's firm stomach. He decided that these weren't tears of pain that Tony sometimes got, these were tears of sadness and anger, a different form of pain. 

Carefully, he lifted up his boy in his arms and carried him to the living room, bringing the peanut butter and jelly sandwich with him. 

He arranged them on the couch with Tony lying on it with his head in Steve's lap and his face still buried in Steve's stomach. 

Steve busied himself with rubbing circles into Tony's back until he stopped crying and Steve could understand what his boy was saying. "He's not dead, not dead, they didn't even believe me" he keeps repeating the first part. 

Steve quiets him and wipes Tony's tears. In just a few seconds, Tony explains what's got him so upset. Tony explains that in his history lesson, his tutor had told him that James Barnes had died for his country. 

Steve has no idea how to approach this problem so he gives Tony his sandwich and tells him that sometimes adults don't know everything. 

Steve hopes that someday they'll both have answers. 

}{}{}{}{}{}{

One year later Tony is eleven, his papa has been gone for a couple weeks now, leaving him home with his dad. All Tony knows is that his papa is searching for someone very important to him. 

Tony is watching from behind a corner when his dad and papa carry in a man with long brown hair and a dirty and bloody face. Tony takes off run-limping down the hall, scared and confused and wanting to go back and touch the strange man. 

Tony goes to his room when he first notices that the scars on his leg are tingling. He waits a while before slowly making his way out of his room when the tingling gets worse. He tries to find his papa but somehow ends up looking in a window at the man asleep on a bed but Tony is happy just to look at him.


	2. The Start of Something

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony and Bucky's relationship

Steve and Howard had just settled Bucky on the bed in the room, they locked the door and left to get the supplies they would need. 

Steve had found Bucky huddled in a corner unmoving or blinking in a safe house in Brooklyn, once Steve had gotten closer to him he had lashed out at him, using uncoordinated attacks and stumbling as if drunk. 

Steve had used the tranquilizer that Howard had given him, when Steve had picked up Bucky to put him on the couch until Howard could send someone to pick them up, his hands had come away bloody. He hadn't been able to do a proper exam but he could determine that the majority of blood was coming from Bucky's torso. 

Steve and Howard walked back into the exam room that would lead to where Bucky was, and both stopped in their tracks, Tony was stood right in front of the exam window, watching Bucky. 

Steve shared a look with Howard, and without words they decided that Howard would stay here with Tony while Steve went in to take care of his friend. 

Tony didn't even blink when Howard went to stand beside him, Steve took a moment to catalog their similarities and differences, the back of their heads looked identical even though Tony was a lot shorter than Howard and tilted to his right side to keep most of the pressure off of his left. 

Steve went into the room, locking it behind him and began to carefully remove Bucky's clothes to examine him properly, leaving him in only his boxer briefs. Steve found 3 guns and 11 knives hidden throughout his body, but what freaked him out more were the scars and cuts and gashes all over his body, the scarring got worse the closer Steve got to his left shoulder, and when Steve actually looked at his shoulder, he found blue writing incasing the metal arm, completely untouched by the mass scarring all around it. 

'Anthony Edward Stark' 

Steve didn't dwell on it for too long chanced a look back at where the window would be even though all he seen on his side was a wall. 

Steve turned back to his friend and started to patch up any cut that looked deeper than just a scratch. Distantly he hoped that Howard turned Tony away so he wouldn't have to see this part. 

Once done he cleaned up any of the dirt or blood that was left and cleaned his hair as best he could. Bucky began to wiggle but Steve quickly injected with something not as strong as the tranquilizer but it would keep him out for a bit longer. 

Steve didn't want Bucky to wake up and panic, causing further damage to his wounds, he wanted Bucky to wake up alone the first time, so that he could look around his room on his own. 

Steve finished everything he could think of and took out all of the supplies he had brought in and then went back and got Bucky's clothes and removed anything else from the room that could be used for Bucky to hurt others or himself. 

When he closed and locked the door he looked back to his husband and son, Tony was still watching Bucky and Howard looked like he had no idea what he should do. 

Steve sighed and walked over to them, he took Tony's hand in his, drawing his attention "c'mon baby boy, it's time for bed" he says and starts to lead Tony along with him. 

Tony is silent as Steve tucks him in that night, he was also silent while he changed into pyjamas and took off his leg. Steve didn't think he'd ever seen him this quiet. 

Steve expects to be woken up by Tony that night and is surprised when it doesn't happen. Steve gets out of bed in the morning and heads straight for Bucky, it's not shocking that when he gets there Tony is already watching through the window, frowning at something on the other side. 

Steve moved to stand beside him and peers through the glass, Bucky is now huddled in a corner with his legs drawn up to his chest, he has wild eyes that keep flickering to random parts of the room. 

When Steve starts to unlock the door to go in Tony finally says something. "Can I come in with you?" He asks. Steve thinks about refusing but one look into Tony's big puppy brown eyes and he's nodding and holding out his hand for Tony to take, which he does. 

When they walk in Tony stays pressed up against Steve's back, Bucky flinches when they walk in and watches them warily, as if afraid that they're going to hurt him. 

Steve tries to get Bucky to talk to him but every attempt fails miserably with Bucky shutting down more. 

Steve feels the hand that was fisted in his shirt at the small of his back unclench and the body that was pressed up against him begin to back up and look to the side of Steve's body, Tony comes to stand still behind Steve but also off to the side so he can see the man that his papa has been calling Bucky. 

It all happens so fast, one second Bucky is pressed as tight as he can be to the corner with his knees to his chest and the next he's lunging at Tony and tackling him to the ground. 

Steve is froze for just long enough for Bucky to bring his metal arm down onto Tony's prosthetic and start to rip it off, Bucky stills for just a moment and meets Tony's eyes. Steve doesn't see this and quickly pulls Bucky off of his son as Tony starts to cry and yell as he holds his stump. Steve makes sure Tony is relatively ok before looking back to where Bucky is now on his hands and knees vomiting and taking heaving breaths. 

Steve reluctantly has to use another sedative when he can't get Bucky's breathing back under control or the fogged over look out of his glossy eyes. 

He checks to make sure Bucky is out and picks up Tony bridal style, the boy whimpers and buries his face into the crook of Steve's neck, tightening the hold he has on Steve's shirt. 

Steve distantly gets the cleaning staff to clean up Bucky's mess while he makes sure his boy is ok. 

That night while Steve is lying on his back holding Tony while he snores into Steve's shirt after coming to him with nightmares, Steve tries to come up with a reason as to why Bucky had lashed out at Tony. He realizes he must of thought that Tony was armed with some type of weapon due to his limp and the small sound of metal that the leg makes that most people can't hear. 

}{}{}{}{}{}{

The next day right before Steve opens the door to Bucky's room, Tony comes up to him but doesn't say anything, obviously nervous. 

Steve thinks this is odd as Tony is never shy, least of all to him, Steve gently lays his hand in Tony's curly dark hair to scratch soothingly at his head. He crouches in front of him to get eye level "what is it Tony?" He asks. 

Tony doesn't meet his eyes, instead fiddles with his shirt while he speaks, "maybe you shouldn't call him Bucky, I don't think he knows who that is" he says simply. All of a sudden now Steve knows why Bucky wouldn't respond yesterday. He smiles and tugs Tony into his chest for a tight hug, he presses his lips to his forehead. "Any other suggestions?" Steve asks. 

Tony grins and nods but starts to walk to the kitchen, Steve confusedly follows him. When they get there Tony gives him a plate with a messily made peanut butter and jelly sandwich on it. It's sort of ripped in half, probably because he's not allowed to use the knives without Steve or Howard there. One half has crust but the other doesn't, Tony explains "I didn't know if he likes crust or not"

Steve takes the plate after another hug and a kiss and goes to see his poor confused friend. 

Today was better than yesterday at least, Steve didn't call him Bucky and he noticed that he never recoiled farther into his corner as he had yesterday every time Steve spoke or moved. 

Steve carefully placed the sandwich in front of him and rubbed the back of his neck nervously when Bucky didn't move or even acknowledge it. "My son made it, he's only eleven so you'll have to excuse his culinary arts" he says. 

Steve leaves shortly after that and when he exits he's not at all surprised to see Tony watching through the window. Tony motions for him to come over as if in a spy game, so he does.

Steve looks through the window and smiles when he sees Bucky eating the sandwich, he and Tony notice that after eating the half with no crust first, Bucky takes the crust off of the other half himself and eats it. Steve had never been so proud of his son. 

}{}{}{}{}{}{

A couple weeks go by and Steve notices that Bucky has started to get some memories back, this is good, this is progress, Steve often has to remind himself of this, especially when the nightmares start getting worse and worse. 

Bucky's therapist said that the nightmares are to be expected, and that Bucky will be experiencing frequent head pains because of the jumble of images and voices and emotions all confusedly shuffled around in his mind that he can't make sense of. 

On one particularly bad night, Steve walks in to Bucky screaming and tearing at the seam where flesh meets metal, causing it to bleed. Steve has to physically pin Bucky down to stop him from hurting himself further until he gets out of his own head long enough to calm down and stop trying to get out of Steve's hold. 

Steve starts to clean up Bucky's wounds when Tony comes in. He hesitantly sits down on Steve's other side. Tony's quiet for a couple minutes, just leaning comfortably into Steve's side before he finally says something "we could take it off... The arm, I mean" he says. 

Steve kisses Tony's forehead and looks to where Bucky is still sitting cross legged with posture too straight to look natural, as a stray tear silently slips down the assassins face, he ducks his head and nods. 

}{}{}{}{}{}{

So the next day, Howard comes in with Tony with some tools to take off the metal arm, they have some tranquilizers nearby, just in case, Steve hopes they won't have to use them. 

Everything was going fine, Howard was taking apart the arm piece by piece, to make sure that there wasn't going to be any surprises, Tony was standing beside Howard, handing him tools whenever he needs them or taking spare parts that he doesn't need. Bucky is staring off into space, not looking at what was happening on his left. 

Steve sees the moment it happens, he watches as Tony catches sight of the words on Bucky's shoulder, he watches as Tony's hand comes up to touch- that's when it happens, the touch makes Bucky flip out and start trying to get out of the straps that automatically locked into place when he started to struggle. Bucky is yelling and thrashing and Tony is backing up into the door, shaking his head before he opens the door and leaves, shutting it again. 

In the end they have to use the sedative when Bucky won't calm down. Howard continues to work, quickly and efficiently removing the last bit of metal and wrapping the stump in soft gauze. 

}{}{}{}{}{}{

For the next couple days, Bucky backtracks in his recovery, he starts rocking himself back and forth in his corner with his eyes flickering everywhere, as if he sees or hears something that's not there. For a little while Steve was trying to break through to him but eventually gave up and called Bucky's therapist, she told him to give him some time alone to let himself think about whatever is going on inside his head. So now Steve finds himself staring through the window with his forehead pressed against the glass in desperation. 

Tony walks in with none other than two peanut butter and jam sandwich, this time with all of the crust peeled off on one, the other with crust, both incredibly sloppy but still somehow looking perfect in a way that could only be done by Tony Stark. 

Tony asks him to wait outside while he goes into see Bucky, he says he wants to apologize for the other day. Steve lets him but hands him the panic button. 

He watches through the glass and watches as Tony goes to stand in front of Bucky, Steve turns on the audio just in time to hear Tony ask to sit down, Bucky doesn't answer him so Tony sits down, rearranging his legs to sit crossed legged in front of Bucky. Tony puts the plate with no crust closer to Bucky and starts rambling on and on about how he knows the sandwich isn't very pretty and that his papa makes them the bestestestest he's ever had. Steve smiles to himself. 

Tony eventually starts going off topic, talking about everything and everything, making wild hand gestures when he gets particularly excited about something, the first couple times Bucky flinches away but then gets used to it. 

As Tony talks, Steve watches as Bucky lowers his legs from their position against his chest and warily picks up his sandwich to eat it. Tony never once stops talking, now going on about his favourite type of pear and why he doesn't like apples very much. 

Steve turns off the audio again, both to give them some privacy and because Tony's managed to talk his ear off. 

A little over an hour goes by when Tony appears to move on to talking about his leg, or rather lack of, he watches warily as Tony rolls up his pant leg until the entire prosthetic is in view and so is Bucky's name. This seems to have caught Bucky's eye, he stares at the letters and with his right hand he reaches up to move his empty shirt sleeve up enough to see Tony's name. Steve watches as Tony shakily reaches his hand up to touch it, hovering over it and locking eyes with Bucky before laying his palm flat against the words. Bucky does the same, he (much slowly than Tony) reaches across to rest his palm on Tony's thigh, right on his own name. 

Steve thinks he sees Bucky let out a big breath and maybe possibly the hint of a smile. 

Tony ends up staying seated there for another couple hours until it's way passed his bedtime and he's starting to fall asleep in his spot on the floor. 

Tony yawns says something and tries to stand up but fails, he tries again but to no avail, Steve is about to go in and help him but stops when Bucky stands up to lift Tony up to his feet, Bucky sits back down after but Tony still grins, says something and takes the empty plates and leaves. 

As soon as Tony is back through the door Steve hugs him tightly, murmuring about how proud he is and how much he loves him. And it's true, Steve loves his boy so much. 

}{}{}{}{}{}{

Just a few months later, Bucky's therapist has cleared him for an actual room, Tony has been visiting him everyday after school till bedtime and recently Bucky has been coming out to join them for supper. He's only said a couple words, but the therapist says that it's not worrisome he's not talking more given his trauma. 

When the day comes to decide where to put Bucky's room, Tony immediately volunteers the other half of his own room, Steve explains to him that Bucky might want privacy and that one day Tony might, as well. They compromise with Bucky and Tony and put the room next to Tony's where Tony's play room used to be. 

They clear out the room and put in his bed and dresser with clothes Steve has picked out for him until Bucky can go shopping. 

With Bucky's permission Tony adds his own little design input by putting up some of his favourite Captain America posters, Tony has the same ones in his room too. 

}{}{}{}{}{}{

Every night Bucky still wakes up screaming but every night Tony will come in and crawl into bed with Bucky, he'll hold his hand or run his fingers through Bucky's hair or just lie close enough to feel the heat of each others bodies.

Bucky never complains and even comes to expect waking up with Tony curled up into his side, seeking his warmth in his sleep. 

}{}{}{}{}{}{

When Tony is 12 Steve walks into the living room one day and finds Bucky and Tony on the couch with their legs tangled facing each other, they both have half of a watermelon on they're lap and are feeding each other spoonfuls and giggling like naughty school girls. 

Steve promptly turns on his heel and leaves the room, not wanting to deal with whatever they find so funny. 

}{}{}{}{}{}{

Despite all of Bucky's progress, there was bound to be some set backs, Steve knew this, but it still came as a shock when Tony collided with his stomach in the hallway. Tony was crying and clutching onto Steve's shirt with his fists. 

It takes a bit of coaxing but eventually he finds out that Bucky kicked him out of bed this morning after a nightmare and now he wouldn't even talk to Tony. 

Steve got Tony settled in the workshop with Howard to get him busy before going off to try and find his friend. 

Bucky is surprisingly back in his old room, curled up in the corner that he spent so much time in all those months ago. Steve sits beside him and waits for Bucky to start explaining. 

It takes a good couple hours on the floor but eventually Steve learns that last night Bucky's nightmare was a memory, he said that he remembers bumping the car so it would spin off the road into a tree and look like the driver lost control. Bucky says that he remembered looking into the back seat and finding a crying little body with blood running down his forehead and his little pants soaked trough with blood. Bucky says he remembers that the little boy stopped crying and met Bucky's eyes. Bucky says the most prominent thing he remembers is how big and bright those brown eyes were. 

Bucky tells him he doesn't want to be around Tony anymore, that he's a monster who caused an infant to grow up without a leg. 

Steve promptly shuts down those thoughts and explains that Tony loves him and doesn't- would never blame Bucky for that. 

Later Steve watches as Bucky takes Tony into a one-armed, one-legged hug. He watches until Bucky begins to cry and frantically apologize over and over and over. 

They're gonna be ok, Steve knows it

}{}{}{}{}{}{

When Tony was 13 he was (unknowingly to his fathers) going through old Hydra videos, he stumbled upon video after video of Bucky's torturous screams of the mind wipe and photos of him in cryo. Tony finds out why Bucky freaked out when Tony touched his name that first time, while being mind wiped, the Hydra soldiers would taunt him by petting the name and say cruel things like 'who would ever love a monster like you?'.

Tony could only watch 3 minutes of one video before wordlessly transferring all the files to Howard's private laptop. He then went to find Bucky and cuddle with him for roughly the rest of his life. 

}{}{}{}{}{}{

When Tony was 14 he and Bucky were walking to meet Steve and Howard at Shield and then go to lunch together. Tony insisted on holding Bucky's hand, to ground him of course, definitely not because he liked the feeling of Bucky's large hand encasing his own. 

They got to Shield and the head of security, Happy, must have been off that day because instead there was a women who was definitely not happy (pun not intended). 

She made them step through the metal detector so of course Tony's leg set it off, she insisted that she would have to pay him down but when she got close enough Bucky glared at her, grabbed Tony's hand and pulled him along to Howard's office, setting off every damn alarm in the building. Tony could only grin and then laugh at the look on the lady's face. 

}{}{}{}{}{}{

Tony and Bucky were lounging on Bucky's bed together watching Cars when Tony leaned up and kissed Bucky. It wasn't really a kiss, more of a press of lips together. Bucky refused to participate but also didn't pull away. Tony leaned back and grinned. He explained he did it because he was 'curious', Bucky told him that he could kiss him whenever he was feeling 'curious' again. They went back to the movie, Tony safely huddled in Bucky's arm while Bucky's legs were tangled with Tony's leg. 

Yep. They were perfect for each other, it was written in the stars.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So.... Yeah. I hope you enjoyed it, I enjoyed writing it. 
> 
> I might make this into a series, I haven't decided yet. 
> 
> Comments and kudos extremely appreciated, I love hearing your thoughts

**Author's Note:**

> Eeeeeeek, please don't hate me, I promise there will be more very soon. 
> 
> Also, all parts involving his leg are from personal experiences so if you see an error on those parts everyone is different and that's just what I experienced  
>  
> 
> Comments and Kudos very much extremely appreciated


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